Phoebe in The Exorcist
by SapphoAndCyanide
Summary: Basically it's a knockoff to the 1st part of Scary Movie 2. It's funny I just made it so Phoebe was the chick from the Exorcist..now go read it. Short only one chapter....


PHOEBE IN- THE EXORSIST

Summary- Don't be mad Alex- I loved the Exorcist idea so much I had to add on!

Phoebe is the girl from the Exorcist. Anyone who's seen Scary Movie 2 will get this, which means I basically just added Phoebe to the 1st part of the movie, and I added some things.

Disclaimer- I don't own anything- leave me be.

Scene- Piper, Leo, Daryl, Sheila, Paige, and Chris are in the Conservatory. Chris is playing the piano. YEA they have a piano.

"Hey, who knows this song?" Chris asks as he starts playing.

Daryl immediately smiles. "Oh, this is the shit!" Everyone starts to kinda dance. Everyone starts to sing.

"Shake that ass, watch yourself. Shake that ass, show me whatcha working with!"

Phoebe walks in and everyone stops singing. She's wearing a nightgown, her hair's all messy, and she has dark circles under her eyes.

"You guys suck," She says blankly, clearly insulting them. Suddenly she starts peeing, it forms a puddle all around her bare feet, and she keeps going. Everyone is looking at her strangely. After a minute she stops and wiggles her toes in it.

"She's been really sick," Piper apologizes as she picks up a rolled up newspaper and hits Phoebe on the back of the head then pushes her face into the pee. "NO, NO, very bad Phoebe!" She scolds.

Scene- outside the Manor; there's fog everywhere and the only light is coming from a room upstairs, a taxi pulls up and a dark figure gets out. You hear that creepy music.

"That'll be $6.50," The driver says, but the man slams the door and runs off. "Hey, Hey!"

Piper opens the door and lets the man in; it's Cole, except he's in a priests outfit. "Hello Father Cole," She greets sadly. Phoebe screams from upstairs.

"How is she?" Cole asks.

"Terrible, she won't let me see her, she won't talk, she won't even let me touch her!" Piper cried.

"Yes, sometimes you have to give her candy first." Cole pulls of his off his coat. Piper looks at him oddly.

"Leo get in here!" Piper screams. Leo comes in, also wearing a priest outfit.

"Let's get started," Leo says solemnly. The two walk into Phoebe's room. She's tied up and she has cuts all over her face, her eyes are red and she just basically looks evil.

Cole pulls out a bible and they both start reciting verses. Phoebe starts to fidget.

"Your mother sucks cocks in hell." She tells Cole.

Cole pulls out a small bottle of holy water and starts to sprinkle it all over her, still reciting.

"That's not gonna help!" Leo screams as he pulls out a bucket of holy water and dowses her. Phoebe lets out a blood-curdling scream then stops and turns to Leo.

"Your son's in here, would you like to leave a message?" Phoebe says in a scratchy voice.

"Yea. Chris could you get out of there please?" Leo orders. The covers that were on Phoebe go back and Chris is lying next to Phoebe.

"You never let me have any fun." Chris pouts as he gets up.

"Cya later Chris," Phoebe says in her regular voice.

Cole shakes his head then starts reading again. Phoebe starts flicking her now Jean-Simmons- like tongue at Cole. Leo doesn't notice and is reading. Cole on the other hand starts flicking his back. They both keep doing this until Phoebe yells.

"Fuck me, fuck me!" She screams in the scratchy voice.

Cole obliges by doing what she asks. Leo looks up gasps.

Cole…Cole!" He screams, Cole looks up. "That's not part of the ritual!" Cole gets off then Phoebe sits up and slowly spins her head all the way around.

"Holy shit!" Cole's eyes shoot open in shock. Phoebe stops and she throws up gallons of what one can only hope is split pea soup all over him.

Leo laughs then Cole throws up the same crap all over Leo. Phoebe laughs and Leo does the same to her. This goes on for awhile until everything is covered in green vomit.

Afterwards the whole room is cleaned along with the 3. Cole starts that same boring chanting

"Release this demon O Lord!" Cole shouts as she sprinkles more water.

"Like that's gonna work." Phoebe laughs, her voice now sounds deeper, like Paige's does in 'Paige from the Past'.

"Shut up!" Leo tells her.

"Fine, if you won't go away just posses me!" Cole suggests.

Demon-Phoebe shrugs. Red smoke comes out of her mouth and nose and goes into Cole.

Cole screams then is thrown through the window where he falls to his death. Leo looks out the window and Phoebe walks up and does the same. She looks normal again.

"I lose more boyfriends that way." Phoebe mutters. She looks at Leo. "Why do I taste split pea soup?"

Leo looks at her but now his eyes are blood red.

Fade out….

END?

Yea it is. Now go home. You are home? Never mind, just go review then.


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